


In The Arms Of Morpheus: The Musical

by Taekwondodo



Category: Order of the Stick
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-03-08
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-07 19:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/68502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taekwondodo/pseuds/Taekwondodo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Water-Smurf's amazing crack-pairing in musical form!</p><p>I would like to apologise for any weird formatting. AoOO doesn't seem to want to cooperate and I'm not in the mood for wrestling with it. Grrrr...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scene One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In the Arms of Morpheus](https://archiveofourown.org/works/66871) by [Water_Smurf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Water_Smurf/pseuds/Water_Smurf). 



Voice Over: In an alternate universe Vaarsuvius has once again failed to defeat Xykon, even if his phylactery has been lost. However, rather than escaping with O-Chul and being reunited with the rest of the Order, they have both been recaptured. Redcloak intervenes, and convinces Xykon that they are worth more alive than dead. In punishment Xykon bans Redcloak from regenerating his lost eye. The story continues…

 

(Curtain opens. Vaarsuvius and O-Chul in cages in corner. Redcloak and Tsukiko talk)

 

T (amused): No regen, huh? Tough break

R: Be glad that I convinced him to not kill our two only sources of information on the gates.

T: Why’d I be glad about that? You’re the only one who cares about information!

R: Because I’m apparently the only one with common sense. Get out.

T: Don’t mind if I do, _Left-Eye_.

(T leaves)

R: Left eye?

“They’ll Never Know”

 

**How little does she know**

**The pain I have encountered**

**As going forward to**

**The world that I have hungered**

**The deeds that I have done**

**That the Dark One has asked for**

**From which I have not shied**

**For family and for brother**

**   
**

**My face and mind are set**

**My road is never ending**

**Gold chain and blood red cloak**

**All power to my bending**

**No tear shall ‘scape my eye**

**We shall move forward fighting**

**Until my work is done**

**The goblin’s future brightening**

**   
**

**Through what I’ve done**

**To bring the sun**

**Goblins out of shadow!**

**   
**

**They shall never know!**

 

(V shifts in cage)

 

V (weakly): Neither of us is going to provide you information.

R (spins around, growls): We’ll see about that.

 

(Drags elf out of cage, protesting, and out of room. Curtain closes. Curtain opens on sparse room. R lays V on bed.)

  
V (looking round): This is not a cell. Why did you bring me here?

(V tries to sit up on the bed but not strong enough. Flops back on to the bed with a stifled cry of pain. R pulls out chair and sits next to bed.)

  
R: To heal you. I can’t have you dying on me in the first five minutes of interrogation. (Lays hand on V’s shoulder)Heal moderate wounds.

 

(V gasps as healing takes effect. R reaches out and cups her chin, with curiosity and disgust on his face.)

  
V (stronger): Let go of me.

 

(R snarls, digs in claws then lets go. Beads of blood appear on V’s chin)

 

R: I’m going to put up some protections on this room and leave. You won’t be able to escape, and you won’t bother trying to. If you do, I’ll tie you to the bed and let Xykon and Tsukiko do whatever they want. You’re going to trance whenever possible. If you refuse, I’ll start ripping off your or the paladin’s fingers, whichever works best. Food will be brought up, and you will eat it. If you refuse, I’ll force-feed you personally. I’m going to heal you until you are at least moderately healthy. If you try to resist, I’ll throw a slave into the Snarl. Once you’re physically capable of handling more than a shove in the wrong direction, you’ll be interrogated mercilessly about the elves and the gates. I don’t think I need to go into detail about what happens if you don’t tell us what we want to know. Understand?

(V glares but stays silent)

 

R: Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep even that little defiance up.

 

(R leaves room, V slumps back onto bed. Curtain closes, end of scene one.)


	2. Scene Two

(Curtain opens, R at window lit by purple light of the Snarl, hobgoblin comes in.)

H: Supreme Leader?

(R spins round and frowns at H)

R: Yes?  
H: The prisoner isn't eating or trancing. She says that she's not hungry or tired.

(R sighs)

R: I'll handle it. How's the search for Xykon's phylactery?  
H: The troops haven't found it so far.  
R: Wonderful. I bet Xykon's in a great mood about that. You may leave.

(H leaves)

  


"Unbalanced"

**The urge to rip and claw and tear,  
Only anger for the elf  
Rip flesh from bones and scalp from hair  
Yet in it, anger for myself**

**Why not hurt one in recompense?  
Or take out my anger on?  
So much worse is their offense  
So many blameless goblins gone**

**So hurt the elf, remind our foes, why we should be feared!  
And make the scoreboard, just that bit more balanced.**

(Curtain closes. Opens on elf's room)

R: What'd I say about eating and trancing?  
V: I…I am not hungry nor am I tired.  
R: Save the lying for interrogation. (picks up bowl and walks to bed) Enjoy the food while you can. This is the best you're going to get—after you're healthy, you'll be living off gruel.

(V shifts into the corner, wary)

V: That seems to defeat the purpose of making me healthy.  
R: You'd think so. Alright, you can eat and make at least one of us happy, or you can still resist and make both of us unhappier than we already are.

(V hesitates, R picks up spoon as if to feed her. V holds out hand to stop him)

V: That is quite alright! I can feed myself.  
R: Pride is all you have left, elf.

(Gives V spoon but sees her hand is shaking so steadies it with his. V eats.)

V (curious): Why would you do this personally?  
R: I'm a hands-on leader, I guess. Besides, your presence is not exactly something I want every foot soldier to know about. (Removes pot and spoon) This is the part where I 'convince' you to trance.  
V: I am not tired.  
R (snarls): No, you're exhausted! You want to see how many times you can deal with your fingers being ripped off? I may be a lowly cleric but I can regenerate lost limbs.

(V glares while squeezing further into corner)

V: I am not tired. Bring any barbaric torture you wish—I shall not trance.

"Memories"

R: **Why not trance? I see no reason in it  
This round of wills, there's no way they can win it.  
No rebel sign? An answer must be elsewhere  
Refusing sleep, this elf is a nightmare!**

(Understanding dawns)

(Spoken) Oh!

**Haunted by their past  
A sign of guilt at last?  
Seems anything's better than return to memories.**

**Similar in our hurt  
Yet too close for comfort  
Both of us trying to escape from memories.**

(Spoken) What's your name?

(V looks up, surprised but wary)

**Dark One above! This prisoner, this elf  
Without trying reminds me of myself  
Grief, remorse and anger, fear and shame  
Though they don't show I know this others pain.**

R: What's your name? Is this a difficult question?  
V: I am rather surprised that you care.  
R: Filing issues. I can't exactly call you 'the elf' in any records when I start interrogating you. We're inevitably going to get a few other prisoners that fit that description.  
V: Perhaps the elf that helped lose your master's phylactery?

(V squares shoulders and looks proud)

R: Just give me your name. It's not like I can do much with it.  
V: I would prefer to know who I am speaking to first.  
R: Just call me Redcloak. Everyone else does.

(V pauses.)

V: My name is Vaarsuvius. (Looks away, pride drained) I am not tired.

(R frowns)

R: Fine then.

(R settles on the end of the bed. Finds book and flicks through pages)

V: What are you doing?  
R: If I'm staying here, I'm going to have something to entertain myself.  
V: And why are you staying here?  
R: (sighs) It turns out that torture can only do so much, and forcing someone to sleep isn't included. So I'm staying here until you trance.  
V: Excuse me?!  
R: You speak Common, right? I'm not leaving until you get at least eight hours of trance. I know that my… associates don't seem like it, but there are some people here that have more patience than that of a toddler.

(V still looks wary)

R: Don't flatter yourself or insult me. I'm not like Xykon. I'm not going to hurt you when you're asleep. Especially in… (Pauses and makes sound of disgust) that way.

(Still wary V lays head on knees and falls into a trance. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens. V alone in room. R comes in.)

R: They tell me you're refusing to trance again.

"Memories – Reprise"

V: **This respite cannot last  
But while I can I ask  
For company can tide against the memories.**

(R nods and settles on the end of the bed. Curtain closes, end of scene 2)


	3. Scene Three

(Curtain opens on R, Tsukiko and Xykon at stone table. Papers are scattered over it and Jirix is giving a report. R is frowning at the table. X is angry but only sign are the darting glances given to him by T and J and his halting delivery of the news.)

J: Groups of, um, hobgoblins have been, erm, searching the, eh, tunnels where the phylactery was, em, seen to fall. So far it has not, urm, been found which leaves the, er, sewage treatment plant, the, um, labyrinth and the, em, ocean.  
R: That's enough, Jirix. (R stands up) Organize teams of our most trusted soldiers and start by to search the treatment plant.

(J looks relieved. Grabs reports and hurries out of room)

X (dangerously soft): So. We still don't have my phylactery, Redcloak.

(R keeps eyes down. T stands up slowly and backs away from table)

R: That's what he just said.  
X: This is because of your 'sources of information.'  
R: You can't kill them. They're the only ones who we have that can tell us anything about the locations of the next gates.  
X (disdainful): Oh yeah. Like that's what you want. We've had the damn paladin for months and we have nothing. And I've noticed the nights you've gone missing to the elf.

(R frowns, looks up at X)

R: What are you implying?  
X: Implying nothing. I'm saying that you're sleeping with the damn thing.

(R shakes his head, rubs temples, exasperated.)

R: Xykon, we're doing all we can to find the phylactery. Try to be patient just a lit—  
X: I'M DONE BEING PATIENT!

(R is blown back along with the table, which lands on top of him)

X: IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR FRICKING PRISONERS! (looses another spell, hitting R. Blood streams down R's face and he whimpers) Oh, you want me to stop? (leans down and grabs R's head) Let me tell you, Reddy—we've barely gotten started.

(T runs out of room while X distracted. Curtain closes. Sounds of a beating continue.)

(Curtain opens. Room is dark. R lying where he fell, still under table, unconscious. He is obviously grievously hurt. Starts to wake up and groans. Pushes table off. Starts trying to assess damage but finds a post-it note)

R: _'If you do anything but the healing you need to live through tomorrow, I'll make sure you don't even see tomorrow.'_ (Groans again. Drops note and puts hands on stomach) Cure Minor Wounds.

(R screams)

R (panting): I know...it hurts, just...the...healing, have to...keep...going... Cure Minor Wounds!

(More screaming, writhing in pain)

R: Cure Minor Wounds!

(Screams again they lies still for a moment. Slowly and painfully turns over and crawls to the door. Curtain closes)

(Curtain opens. R walks into V's room carrying a mug. V sits up on the bed. R, trying not to limp, walks to bed and holds out mug)

R: Milk with honey and cinnamon, it's supposed to help with sleep. And it's good for elves. Don't worry—I didn't drug it.

(V nods and takes mug)

V: …Thank you.

(R settles on foot of bed with a slight sigh, watching V drink)

R: You haven't been trancing.  
V: You weren't here yesterday or the day before.

(R shrugs)

V: You're hurt.  
R: What gave you that idea?

(V looks angry and crosses arms)

V: Treat me as a prisoner if you wish, but do not insult my intelligence. You were limping when you came in, areas of your body are bulging slightly under your clothes—probably bandages—and you have a contusion along with a deep abrasion on the back of your head, among other things. It did not take much deduction.

(R looks away but is smiling)

R: What can I say? You know, if I were in your shoes, I'd watch what I was saying a little more closely. Trance. Your healing's probably been set back a few days.  
V: When are you going to treat me as you have obviously treated the paladin?

(R pauses)

R: When you're healthy.  
V: That seems like a poor incentive to help myself.  
R: But you'll do it anyway. (shrugs) Xykon won't be patient. He'll eventually get tired of taking his frustration out on me and move on to you and our other prisoner. At least this way, you might survive.  
V: So you are looking out for my welfare?  
R: Sure, if you want to look at it that way. I need to keep you alive. Drink more of the milk. It helps with nightmares.

(V stiffens, alarmed)

V: I…! How did you know about those?!  
R: You somehow felt that having your fingers removed would be better than trancing and you refuse to trance unless someone is with you. It did not take much deduction.  
V: I…  
R: Don't worry about it. We've all messed up badly at some point or another or gone through something that made nightmares. Just finish the drink.  
V: Very well.

(V puts down mug and trances. R falls asleep soon after. Curtain closes. End of Scene Three)


	4. Scene Four

(Curtain opens with R and V sleeping in the same bed, spooning. R wakes up, starts to cuddle in closer then realises where he is and sits up suddenly. He looks at audience.) 

R: Flowers and wine. That's what its skin smells like, (looks down at V) flowers and wine.

(R stands up, stretching) 

V: Are you going to return to them so early?

(R is surprised) 

R: Of course. Why wouldn't I?  
V: It is likely that your master will hurt you again, only this time you will not live.

(V stands up slowly, pulling robe around her and wavering a little on weak knees. R stretches out hand automatically.) 

V: You do not need to carry me again. At any rate, it seems simply unwise to leave so soon. If my sense of time has any meaning, it is the early hours of the morning. Perhaps five o'clock.  
R: Really? (looks out window) Looks like you're right. You shouldn't be awake yet.  
V: I trance little normally. My point remains.

(R frowns at V) 

R: Why do you care?

"Closer/ Sleeping With the Enemy" 

V: **My apologies  
If you were offended  
I did not know you enjoyed being beaten.******

**R: (growls) **My patience is thin  
Don't wear it any thinner  
Just now your greatest strength is that you're weak.****

V: **You don't seem dangerous  
Unless I am mistaken**  
R: (points claw at V) **You have no idea what I would do!**

V:** If you think so.** (Knees buckle but R catches her.)

V:** Unhand me!**  
R:** And let you fall? Don't get so excited. **(sighs and places V back on bed)  
V:** I need no nurse!**  
R:** Oh yes you do and I would be delighted.**

(Bows sarcastically and groans in pain) 

V: Cherries should help with the pain. (hugs knees, looking away with ears twitching.)  
R: (pauses)I'll try them then.

(R sits on bed again and reaches, gently, for V's chin, forcing her to turn her face so he can look at it.) 

R: Your health is returning.  
V: Probably due to your ministrations. (squirms) Please let me go. I will turn my face for you if you wish—I prefer to not be forcefully touched.

(R releases her) 

R: Your eyes are still a little bloodshot and your hands still shake. A little more time.

(V nods) 

R: I know that you're quiet, but try being even quieter now. Xykon's in a very bad mood and is probably looking for an excuse to turn you into an example.  
V: I suppose that will happen with liches when one forces them to lose their phylacteries.  
R: Yeah, yeah, you put the biggest dent in his confidence out of anyone and you're proud, I get it. He'd still rip you apart when you're in this condition. Don't be stupid.  
V: I have no intention of making another blunder. (runs hand through hair) You must be tired.  
R: Not really. I'm used to little sleep. I had more last night than usual.  
V: Oh! So you were sleeping with me, then? Well, next time, would you care to wake me up and inform me?

(R covers mouth with hand to hide smile) 

R: You're not supposed to make jokes like that with your jailer.  
V: To quote a comrade of mine, 'You walked right into it.'

(Both are smiling at this exchange but the humour fades quickly leaving an awkward silence. R glances out the window where the sun is just starting to rise.) 

R: Food should come soon for you, but I need to get to work.

(R starts to stand up from the bed but V reaches out a hand to touch his arm. R looks around surprised and V jerks hand away.) 

V: I...I simply wished to ask if you were coming back this evening.  
R: (Pauses) Of course. If I can't, I'll have someone come and tell you why not this time. (Stands up and picks up thermos) Try walking a little, but not too far away from the bed. Your legs are probably just not used to walking anymore.

(R leaves, curtain closes) 

  


(Curtain opens. R is at desk, a bowl of cherries beside him from which he occasionally eats one. J enters, agitated, with a stack of papers in his arms.) 

J: Supreme Leader, reports of attacks from landside and the shore are coming in!  
R: Give me the reports.  
J (putting papers on R's desk): We've already lost a handful of scouting teams and a couple of guards on the edges of our territory.

(R flips through the papers slowly.) 

J: The survivors report two adventuring parties—one purely elven and the other is the one that we fought in the battle for Azure City.

(R looks up frowning) 

R: The adventuring party for Azure City? That was the Order of the Stick, right? (Rubs his temples) I should remember something about it. But I don't remember what I forgot.  
J: I didn't remember either until the reports. Sir, they're missing their spell caster. I couldn't recognize him because of the hair, but he's the elf in the tower.

(R goes still) 

R: How do you know? Did you get a good look at their spell caster during the battle several months ago?  
J: I got a decent look, sir. That, and a couple of the adventurers were shouting 'For Vaarsuvius!' while slaughtering our troops.  
R: (Pauses) That's helpful. (Frowns at papers on desk) Jirix, get our best clerics and spell casters together. Throw illusions and enchantments all over the city and put up any other spells you think will help. Send in reinforcements to the affected areas and try to drive them away from where we're searching for the phylactery. They can't know that it's lost.  
J: Yes, sir.  
R: I'll tell Xykon and Tsukiko about this then come back to help the rest of you enchant the city. (Stands up, stretching claws) But first, I need to speak with the prisoner. Leave the reports here.

(Leaves, shoulders set and face angry. Curtain closes) 

  


(Curtain opens. V is on bed talking quietly with raven familiar, Blackwing. R bursts in the door. V jumps in surprise and B disappears. R grabs V's shoulders and slams her into wall. Blood starts to stain V's robe and she struggles in his grasp, hands on his.) 

V: What—?!  
R: _You didn't tell me you're part of the adventuring party that we have been fighting since the beginning!_

(Slams V against the wall again, blood staining the stone.) 

V: You did not ask…

(R slaps V, leaving deep scrapes in her cheek.) 

  


"Reckoning" 

R(Growls): **Don't take me for a fool!**  
V (spoken): You're hurting me.  
R:** I know, I mean to! **(Slaps V again. Blood is already dripping down her face.)  
R:** Tell me what it is they plan to do!**  
V: **To save me I assume  
How they do, your guess is good as mine.**

R:** Like hell you don't! **(Slams V against wall again.)  
**I've been too soft.  
Interrogation too slow in coming.  
They're plan is what?!**  
V:** I do not know!**  
We really do not plan that far ahead!

R(sceptical, spoken): What kind of group would be so unprepared?  
V: Ours! (V squirms, eyes and teeth gritted shut against the pain)

R: **Tell me how to beat your party.  
Let me know their flaws.**  
V:** As if I would betray my team and comrades.** (R shakes her, battering her head against the wall)  
R: **Your raven then, familiar,  
You've tried to send a message?!**  
V: **It can't get through whatever spells you've used!**

(R savagely slaps her other cheek, ripping through skin. V lets out a slight cry of pain but is otherwise silent) 

R: **And elves?! They _happen_ to arrive?**  
V:** I don't know why they're here!  
I haven't spoke with other elves for years!** (R slams V against wall again. V's head lolls.)  
R: **Elves have come and you're our captive.  
Is my logic clear?!**  
V: **Species is no proof of fellowship!**

(V glares at R, even through the pain.) 

V: I've given you your answers, do your worst!

(R digs his claws in snarling then stops, letting V go. He stares at his stained hands. V slumps to the ground leaving a trail of blood up the wall. V is drained and sits where she dropped, hesitantly touching a shoulder and wincing. R suddenly kneels in front of V and holds out a hand with several cherries on it. V hesitates then takes one. R cleans the cuts on V's face with a handkerchief.) 

 

R (murmered): I've been too soft on you.

(R tilts V's head to look at the damage done to the back of it.) 

V: Get your hands off of me.  
R: You should have your cuts cleaned, (Presses cloth against gash.)

(V wrenches out of R's grip, holding her hand to back of head and standing up shakily.) 

V: The cuts you gave me! If you believe that you are too soft, very well. Be harsh. If you believe I need care, very well. Be tender. Do not be both!  
R: I'd think that you'd be happy to get help, elf, (Stands up slowly)  
V: I do not need your help. I do not wish my tormentor to nurse me, and I do not wish my medic to cut me. Make your intentions clear, Redcloak—do you mean to hurt or heal me?  
R: Why won't you accept help where it is offered?  
V: I need to know where to categorize you.

(R steps forward, holding out a hand.) 

R: You're bleeding. Let me touch you for a moment.  
V: Will you heal me only to hurt me again?  
R: (Pause) I've hurt you all I will for today. I'm going to heal you for now. I'll come back this evening. We don't have to talk about any information you may have until the morning.  
V: Are you my friend or my foe, Redcloak?

(R doesn't answer, instead taking V's arm.) 

R: Cure Light Wounds. I guess you'll have to figure that out for yourself.

(Takes hand away, the cuts on V's cheeks mending, and walks out of the door.)  
(In corridor, R talks to the audience but not looking at them. One hand rests on door, gently.) 

R: Its hair was wild and sticky with blood, its face too pale and its robe torn and stained, but for a moment; a terrifying, frightening, crazy moment; I knew why humans waxed about the wild beauty of elves so often. (Shudders, dropping hand from door and looking at it. Murmurs, as if to himself.) Flowers and wine.

(Curtain closes. End of Scene 4) 


	5. Scene Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “It's been a long, a long time coming but I know  
> update gon' come oh yes it will”
> 
> I apologise for how long this chapter/scene has taken for me to write but I had a bad case of procrastination. Here it is now anyway, hope it was worth the wait! As always reviews are appreciated and the original "In the Arms of Morpheus" by the superlative Water-Smurf should definitely be checked out.

(R stands in corridor, speaking to audience)

 

R: I must admit that that one brief, mad moment almost made me too scared to come back here. I found myself split in two. One half insisted I had imagined it. After all I was a goblin and a self proclaimed species-ist and had never and will never be attracted to anything but a goblin female. The other half, the more rational half, shook its head and reminded me that no person is purely one thing. Having experienced this feeling enough times before I could undoubtedly say that this time, no matter how fleeting, had been no more imagined than the death of my brother.

 

Both halves agreed, however, that it could be explained away. I was stressed. It was a stray subliminal thought. I could be worrying over nothing. Or (he pauses) or I could be inviting certain disaster by continued interaction with this, admittedly fascinating, elf. 

Either way, emotion is not going to get in the way of my work.

(Enters V’s room. V is lying face-up on the bed. She immediately sits up.)

 

V: Red—  
R: We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. Not yet.

 

(Redcloak closes the door and slowly walks to the foot of the bed.)

  
V: What will one night do? (Runs a hand through hair, staring up at R) I want to know what my comrades are doing.  
R: Trying to find and save you, I guess.

V: I want to know what you know about them. I want to know if they are okay.  
R: They’re okay enough to kill my troops. (fingers twitch in his lap) Trance, Vaarsuvius. You’re going to need to be healthy more than ever for tomorrow.  
V: Are you going to hurt me?

(Pause. Their eyes lock.)

Please answer.

 

(R sighes, shaking his head and looking away)

 

R: If you don’t cooperate.  
V: Then do not be kind to me.  
R: Are you that rigid, really? (frowns darkly) You’re so desperate for some sense of order and black and white decisions that you’d turn down help where it’s offered?

V: I am not asking for order and black and white decisions. I am asking what I should think of you as! (stands up sharply, knees wobbling a little in protest) Should I think of you as, if perhaps not a friend, a benefactor? Or should I think of you as my so-called interrogator?  
R: Why do you need to label me? (also stands up, weary of this topic)

 

“Labelling Theory”

 

**I’ve been labelled as evil though lacking in crime**

**Labelled from birth like the rest of my kind**

**Beaten in hatred with words and with fists**

**Our only crime is that we exist**

**   
**

****

**Though force will be used if you refuse to consent**

**For you to suffer is not my intent**

**I need the info that’s stored in your head**

**But aid will be given if it is needed**

 

(V runs hands through hair in frustration)

 

V: **But there is no label for you that makes sense!**

R: **Things cannot always be carefully fenced.**  
V: **I’ve been finding that out.** (V’s eyes glaze briefly) **I think that I know.**

**But please be true. Don’t put on a show.**

 

(R frowns darkly)

  
R: **You really assume that I’m that good an actor?**

**A show? A front? You think I’m a liar?**

**For now you’re my patient and I’ll help in your healing. **

V: (Gestures angrily at R) **I do not need a tormentor’s nursing!**

 

(V’s knees buckle. R catches her easily and lifts her into her arms. V struggles, battering his chest with weak fists)

 

V: **Unhand me at once!**

R: **You’re stubborn as hell.**  
V: **If you are my enemy, then let me fall!**  
R: **So you can get hurt?****  
**V: **Which you will repair;**

**But I’ve still no idea why you would care!**  
R: **You are my patient!**  
V: **And prisoner! Let me go or I swear—**

 

(R kisses her. For quite a while actually.)

 

V (quietly): Stop

 

(V pulls away, wide eyed. She looks away. R puts her onto the bed and turns away. He leaves)

(Curtain closes on V sitting on bed, chin on her knees and arms around legs.)

 

(Curtain opens. Next day. V sits with raven on her shoulder. Looks up sharply as R walks in. Raven pops out with a caw. R pulls chair beside the bed, sits down.)

 

R: We’re going to start this slowly. Where is your village?

V: I…I would prefer not imparting that information.

R: I won’t tell Xykon. Your home will be safe for now.

V: You wouldn’t know it. It is secluded in the elven forests—few elven allies even know of it.

 

(R pauses, frowning.)

 

R: We’ll get back to this. (taps his claws together, making a small clicking sound.) I want to see your familiar.

 

(V glares at him)

 

V: I am not about to let you hurt him.

R: I won’t hurt him. If anything, I’ll hurt you.

 

(V flinches a little)

 

Vaarsuvius, I don’t want to cut you again. Show your familiar and let him decide, if you want.

V: (Pause) Very well.

 

(B appears on V’s shoulder, making little sounds at the back of its throat. R holds out a hand to it.)

 

R: Well, then. You can either fly to me and this will go smoothly, or you can try to fly into the corner or something and I will be forced to hurt your master until you come down.  
V: Blackwing, don—

 

(Ignoring V, B flies to R hand. R examines the bird, gently extending a wing to check the feathers.)

R: Slightly singed I see, so you have tried to get through the boundary spells but not managed it yet.

 

(R flicks his hand a little and B flies off and vanishes again.)

 

V: Why have you not hurt me yet?  
R: I’m not going to be eager to slap you around. You didn’t trance last night?

V: You did not return. Why won’t you present yourself in a consistent manner?!

 

(V’s fists curl up tightly and she glares at R.)

 

R: This is an interrogation. Act like it or I’ll force you to calm down. I’m going to ask you about the Order of the Stick. This time, I’m not going to leave it up to my claws to do the hurting.  
V (angrily): (pause, glaring) I will not betray them.  
R: I don’t expect you to. I expect you to feed me a bunch of bogus information, then eventually give me as little hard truth as possible when I call you out on your lies and torture you even more because you, like every other wizard, probably used Charisma as a dump stat.

 

(V stays silent)

 

I don’t want to hurt you, Vaarsuvius. I will if I have to.  
V: Then please try to explain something to me.

R: Yes?  
V: As embarrassing as it is for both of us, it happened. Why?

(Redcloak frowned, shifting uncomfortably.)

  
R: I don’t know.  
V: One of us must! People don’t _do_ things for no reason!

R: One of these days, you’re going to have to accept that not everything is logical. (He looks away) Just pretend that it didn’t happen.

V: But it _did_ happen.

R: I know. You know. Doesn’t mean we need to acknowledge it.  
V: But you… (V stops, shaking her head in frustration) First, you carry me to make sure I do not get hurt. Then you threaten me. Then you make sure I eat, and you start sleeping in my room to make sure I can trance. Then you give me milk to help my disturbances, completely without solicitation. You show compassion and kindness. Then you hurl me against the wall, slap me numerous times, and make me bleed. Then you heal me. Then you tell me that you will hurt me again. Then you _kiss _me. Tell me what I am supposed to make of you!

 

(V stands up from the bed, muscles tense, legs wobbling a little.)

  
R: Get back into your bed or I’ll have to catch you again, and the Dark One knows what will happen this time.

 

(V sits back down quickly)

  
V: I need to know what to make of you.  
R: I don’t know what to make of myself. (Rubs his temples) Look, don’t do this. I’m about to get very violent with you and I’d prefer not to get into this kind of conversation beforehand.

V: If I can deal with this confusion, you can deal with guilt!

 

(R scowls)

  
If you are going to hurt me, at least do me the courtesy of being consistent! I do not know if you are kind, cruel, or… or something else that I cannot think of a word for at the moment!

R: You’re getting flustered.

V: Of _course_ I’m flustered! In the last few days, you have alternated dramatically between helping me fall asleep, beating me until I bleed, and… and _kissing me_ all in quick succession! I need you to—”

(R kisses her quickly, leaving V looking a little dazed)

  
R: (To audience) Well that seems to have worked. (back to V) Alright, then. I’m going to ask you about your party and you’re going to answer my questions.

 

(V nods numbly)

 

R: I want to know their full names.

V: You know most of them. The others are travellers and you would therefore gain nothing from their names.

R: Just answer.

V: Very well. You wish to know their names and that is useless information. That is my answer.

R: (Pause) I don’t want to hurt you.

V: I have given you my answer.

 

(R raises his hand, fingers spread brandishing his claws. V leans forward swiftly, captures his face in her hands and kisses him. R freezes then slowly lowers his hand to rest on her waist. He seems to come to his senses a minute later and pushes her away, frowning darkly.)

 

R: Stop it. I don’t appreciate being manipulated.

 

(V scowls and crosses her arms)

 

V:Neither do I and yet you did the same.

R: Then we both should stop. I’m your jailer and you’re my prisoner, or I’m your medic and you’re my patient, or whatever our relationship is classified as at this point. Either way, the power balance is unequal and physical relations are completely inappropriate.

V: I agree. (arches an eyebrow) I also think that it is inappropriate for a medic to beat their patient or a jailer to nurse their prisoner.

 

(R shakes his head)

 

R: Here we go again. Look, stop trying to distract me. I need this information and you have it. Accept that I’m going to hurt you to get it.

V: I will accept it if you promise to act purely as my jailer and tormenter from then on.

R: You’d drop dead from exhaustion if I didn’t come here for you to trance.

V: You shouldn’t care.

R: I’m not giving you a choice in how I treat you.

V (dryly): Then I suppose that you will have to accept that, if you let this relationship remain uncategorized, it will get more disorderly and convoluted with inappropriate lines being crossed.

 

(R looks at the ceiling)

 

R: Have I told you that you’re stubborn?  
V: Yes.

(R shakes his head, remembering himself)

 

R: The names of your comrades. I want them.

V: I won’t give them.

R: Damn it, Vaarsuvius!

 

(R stands up sharply, grabbing V’s arms tightly, claws digging in. V winces.)

 

R: I can find out in other ways! They’re in the city! They’re not subtle in the least! Then you’ll be hurt and I’ll have the information anyway!

 

(R pulls her roughly so she is forced to stand up from the bed.)

   
R: Don’t be stupid about this. I don’t want to hurt you.

 

(V squirms, fighting away from him)

 

_V: Why?!_ Why don’t you want to hurt me?! I’m a _prisoner!_

 

(R shakes V violently)

 

R: People aren’t cans! Relationships aren’t boxes! They can’t be labelled clearly all the time!

V: But they can _some_ of the time! I will not have my emotions played with and batted around as if they were a feline’s toy!  
R: Will you just cooperate for once?! (throws V down on the bed roughly, glaring.) You’re still delicate! I could _kill_ you during interrogation if I’m not careful! Why don’t you just shove your loyalty and confusion and pride in some dark corner for _once?!_

 

(V’s eyes narrow and she stands up and gestures to the room)

 

V: That is all I have here! I have made many mistakes, Redcloak. I will not add to it by betraying my comrades, even if my health or my life is on the line.

R: We’ve all made mistakes! Get over it and try to save yourself while you can.  
V: I refuse, Redcloak. (she steels herself) Hurt me if you wish.

 

(R slaps V hard, claws ripping her cheek. V stifles a cry and turns back to glare at R.)

 

R: Their names. Give them to me.

V: And allow you to use them to track down any possible family members of theirs?! I’d sooner die!

R: Then you will!

 

(R grabs her arm, digging his claws into the flesh, pulling her closer.)

 

(Growls) Inflict critical wounds.

 

(V starts screaming. R throws her back to the bed. There is the sound of bones cracking and blood starts to flow from fresh wounds.)

 

R: Give me their names!

 

(V gasps for air then grits her teeth, forces her eyes open and glowers at him)

 

V (Hiss venomously): I shall _die_ before I betray them.

 

(Eyes cold, R grabs an arm that was broken. V stifles a cry of pain.)

 

R: I’ll give you one last chance. I want their names and any other information you can provide that would help fighting them.

V: (Still glaring) Do what you want.

(R leans in, grip tightening on the break then suddenly straightens up.)

 

R: I’ve been too soft. Cure critical wounds.

 

(V gasps as the spell fixes bones and wounds. R lets go of her arm and runs a claw through her hair.)

 

I’ve gotten soft.

V: Please stop confusing me.

R: I’m confusing myself.

V: (Winces) You can’t toy with me and my emotions like this.

R: It was never my intention.

V: Your intentions are meaningless! Your actions—

R: You’re one to talk. Just shut up for once.

 

(V stiffens and falls silent. R glances out the window, noticing the dark.)

 

It’s late. (Runs a claw lightly down V’s face) Trance.  
V: I don’t know what to think anymore. I am tired of trying to make sense of it.

R: You’ll feel better in the morning if you trance.

 

(V looks up at R wary and tired, straightening her robes which are torn and bloodied.)

 

V: Are you going to leave tonight?

R: No. You have my word.

V: Are you going to hurt me again?

R: Not this time.

V: (pause) If nothing, you have been honest with me.

 

(V moves to the corner and closes her eyes. Thoroughly exhausted R falls asleep as well. Curtain closes. End of scene five.)


	6. Scene Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New scene! Wooo! A slightly shorter one this time but with TWO new songs. "Not By Any Means" can be sung to the tune of "No Bravery" by James Blunt. Enjoy, and as always reviews are appreciated!

(Curtain opens on V and R in bed. V is already awake and sitting in the corner, leaving R curled lower down. R wakes up, sitting up and stretching. He turns to look at V)

 

R: Someone slept well.  
V: I do not know why.  
R: You were tired.

 

(R stands up slowly.)

  
V: It’s still early. (Looks away) Are you sure it is wise to go so soon?

(R smiles.)

 

R: Don’t get me wrong: Xykon is a horrible, horrible abomination. But he’s not really the type to randomly snap his right-hand man’s ribs often. He only did that because he’s frustrated about his phylactery. You don’t need to be worried.

 

(Crosses arms.)

 

V: I am not worried.

R: Sure.

(R cocks his head and studies the elf in front of him.)

 

R: …Food will come soon.

V: Have there been any developments with my comrades?

 

(R shrugged)

 

R: They’re not dead as far as I know. I’ll tell you if I hear something significant that won’t give you too much information about us, okay?

 

(V nods, eyes thoughtful)

 

V: That is very generous of you. Thank you.

R: No rants about how I’m not acting consistently?  
V: You’ve proven that you have no concern about that. Continual protest would be a waste of my energy.

R: You’ve proven that you have no concern about that.

V: Stop repeating what I say.

 

(R smirks)

 

R: I only do it when it’s applicable.

 

(V frowns then slips from the bed to stand on the floor.)

 

R: Vaarsuvius, you’re going to fall again.

V: I think that my legs are getting stronger, and I wish to evaluate something. Yes, I think I will be able to walk on my own soon.

R: Great. So I won’t have to catch you again?

 

(V blushes, turning her face away to try and hide the colouration)

 

V: You didn’t have to in the first place.

 

(R rolls his eye)

 

R: Whatever you say, Vaarsuvius. Just don’t fall and get hurt while I’m not around to pick you up.

V: I can pick myself up.

R: I know. It’s easier on you if you have help. I’ll be back tonight.

 

(R leaves, curtain closes)

(Curtain opens on R standing at the top of a tower, near the edge, staring up at the Snarl)

 

“Under Wraps”

 

**The sun is setting on another day**

**Though darkness is not coming**

**The Snarl light scares the Night away**

**And sets my nerves to chiming**

**.**

**The lich could lose his rag at any time**

**And lash out at those he blames**

**The search for his phylact’ry come to naught**

**And all can feel the strain**

**.**

**But through this all there’s one place I would be**

**With an elf with purple hair**

**Despite myself it’s not difficult to see**

**I’ve come to respect, to ca-No.**

**.**

**Refuse to say there may be something more**

**Steel yourself so you don’t lapse**

**Only show emotions you can control**

**Any others under wraps**

 

(T comes on stage)

  
T: So you finally got back from the elf’s room? Did you sleep with her or torture her? Or both?

 

(R jumps in surprise and spins round scowling)

 

R: Don’t you have anything better to do?

T: All the slaves are settled down. They thought they could rebel. How cute. (Smiles, crosses her arms and saunters up to R) So you really do like us mammals more than you say. How does it feel to do it with someone who is actually warm and squishy for once in your life?

 

(R sneers, shaking his head)

 

R: You’re disgusting. I should have only expected it. (He turns away and moves to look down at the damaged castle) I’m busy trying to think of our next strategy. It would help if you left.

T: Strategy is no fun. Talking about your sex life with the prisoner is.

R: It’s a pretty one-sided conversation, Tsukiko.

 

(R closes his eye and rubs the bridge of his nose. T moves to look down the tower beside R. Pause.)

 

T: Is she a screamer? The formal ones usually are. Or maybe that uptight wizard thing extends to the bedroom and she’s just really, really quiet.

 

(R sighs)

 

R: If you won’t leave, I will. I would try and deny sleeping with the elf but given your twisted sense of logic you would deem that it only proved my guilt. 

 

(R starts towards the door.)

 

T (shouting after him): You don’t seem like the type to sleep around! Are you in love with her? ‘Cuz if you are, I’m never going to let you forget it!

 

(R turns back to look at her)

 

R: I’m sorry, when did you graduate fifth grade? Last week?  
T: It’s a classic! (Jogs after R and they continue across the tower) Hey, Reddy, as a special favor, when Xykon eventually gets you to soak her for information and kill her off, I’ll make a special zombie spell for you! You can do her all you want and you won’t have to hear that annoying stuck-up voice of hers.

 

(R tenses, step faltering)

 

I can even make her warm or cold, how you like. You seem to be more into cold girls—reptile thing, I guess—but you might’ve developed a liking for the finer temperatures of bodies. (frowns) We’d have to change her clothes, probably. Let her show off what she’s got. I can barely tell what sex she is under those robes.

 

(Everything stops, spotlight on R who is angry, livid, furious)

 

R: Turning the prideful, defiant, fiery, alive Vaarsuvius cold? _Silent_? A glorified _sex toy_ in clothes normally reserved for street-walking _whores_? Losing the warmth that made it so valuable? The pride and rebellious attitude that made it beautiful? The ability to speak all of its thoughts? To be honest with me about how exactly it thinks about me and what I do? (Pause, softer) Losing what makes Vaarsuvius, _Vaarsuvius_?

“Not By Any Means”

 

**The elf is stubborn as an ox**

**And its pride cannot be swayed**

**Fire flashing in its eyes**

**Since it’s been here**

**Passion tripping off its tongue**

**Fury that I can’t be placed**

**In a role that does not change**

**While it’s been here**

**.**

**But to see no bravery**

**No bravery in its eyes anymore**

**Would be madness**

**(x2)**

**Would be madness**

**.**

**You say to me standing here**

**That I should want the elf to die**

**A prospect I don’t want to face**

**Since it’s come here**

**A crude semblance of life**

**Fire and pride have been misplaced**

**Defiance lost without a trace**

**Just a shell there**

**.**

**And to see no bravery**

**No bravery in its eyes anymore**

**Would be madness**

**(x2)**

**.**

**Lose the value of its warmth?**

**And the beauty of its pride?**

**Take each aspect of its spirit,**

**That it’s kept here?**

**There’s no way I would accept this fate**

**My respect for it is too great**

**To have it lose its defining traits**

**Just to stay here**

**.**

**And to see no bravery**

**No bravery in its eyes anymore**

**Would be madness**

**(x3)**

**Would be madness**

 

(Lighting returns to normal)

 

T: Hey, are you going to respond or am I going to have to go into even more detail about the things I can do for your zombie?

 

(R appears unmoved)

 

R: You’re a very, very sick woman. Go and make sure the slaves are in their proper jobs.

 

(T frowns)

 

T: Do I hear an edge to your voice? (Smiles widely) Oh Gods, you really do love her!  
R: That’s the problem with you and Xykon. You’re both too lazy to actually investigate things, so you just go with your first assumptions. Go and watch the slaves before they decide that they want to rebel again.

T: Whatever you say, Romeo. (laughs)

R: Romeo?

T: From the old human play! (laughs) It’s a great one, Reddy! Romeo and Juliet! Might give you some insight on how this story will end.

 

(T runs off the stage. R rubs his face then leaves as well. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens on a battlefield. Ruined houses, smoke and the ever present purple glow of the Snarl. Haley is pacing back and forth around the rubble. Roy walks on stage.)

 

R: Haley, you’re going to have to stop pacing at some point. (Looks up at sky) Night’s going to come soon.

 

(H stops and runs a hand through her hair)

 

H: V’s been missing for… how long have we been gone?

R: Long enough. (Sighs, frowns and crosses his arms) Look, Haley, I’m worried too. Vaarsuvius is my friend as well as part of my party. I don’t want him hurt any more than you do. Pacing won’t help.  
H: Apparently, neither will actually looking for her!

R: I don’t know what they did. They cast a spell or something.

H: That’d be easy to fix with a spell caster.

R: I know, Haley. Go and scout for a bit. Burn off the restless energy. Just make sure you’re back here soon.

 

(H and R stare at each other for a moment then H relaxes)

 

H: Thanks, Roy.

 

(H jogs off into the streets. Curtain closes. End of scene six.)

 


End file.
